Constructive Negligence and Neuroscience Part 1

I rolled around on the kitchen floor. Laughing, crying, and screaming until someone paid attention. It was Panda; she sat down close to the breakfast bar, but not yet in the kitchen.
“What is wrong now?”
“I, eh?” How could I sum this up to someone going about a normal day, with a normal mind set and common goals?
“Come on Jane, just say it.” Dead tone and used up words. I flinched. Looking at her now, she was even more beautiful than my mind had built up. I reached for her, but she was too far away.
“I’m reading this book, and if I don’t prove this guy wrong . . . then . . . “
She closed her eyes. It had been a hell of a day. We were moving, again, and this time with only a couple of days’ notice and no movers. We had to do everything ourselves and I could tell it was wearing on her. I felt bad bringing up such topics in this condition, but I have never been much for lying.
“This book, well it’s more of an idea.”
“and that idea is?”
“Determinism” She didn’t know what that was, fuck I didn’t know what that was until I started reading, and researching it.
“It’s the theory that everything has a predetermined destination or place, even that of thought or action.” She says nothing, and nods.
“That is what you are trying to prove wrong?”
“Yes”
“That’s impossible.”
“It can’t be.”
“Why?”
“If everything has a predetermined destination, then we lose the freedom of individual right, choice, and self.”
“What do you mean?” Those dark, beautiful eyes size me up, and I roll to my stomach staring at the floor beneath me.
“If there is no choice, then there is no self, if there is no self, there is no being, if there is no being there is no existence, and we don’t exist.”
“That’s going overboard.” She’s right, well kind of. I’m stuck in a battle of logic vs. reality and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. My goal was trying to find a mid-way or half-truth, something I could rely on to give me a sense of self.
“If a person can, with enough technology, determine every single action or reaction that you or I may have, then the only thing you have control over is how you actually feel this second, everything else is biologically predetermined and will happen because of genetics.”
~ Let me explain.
If you take a rock and throw it down a mountain can you predict exactly how it will fall and what it will hit? Can you predict, given all the possible outcomes, where it will land? How it will bounce off that tree and hit the boulder, then roll into the water? Most people will say yes. This confirms the fact that you then could predict, given all possible outcomes, the action or reaction a person will make in their life time. This then allows a person to know your “future” or predict it. Being that it is possible for someone to know your every move, there is no chance of freedom of choice. If there is no freedom of choice then I ask you how do we exist?